The menace of the traffic cone is set to reach new and frightening heights with the announcement from Nebraska that its university engineers have created robotic cones that can be moved by remote control or even more frighteningly, by themselves.

The prospect of smart contraflows or mischevious switching roadwork cones could kill countless motorists the world over and students can no longer sleep safely at night without fear of their traffic cones disappearing into the night to return to their rightful owners.

You have been warned.

In a seperate development, a California based UFO group, Attack of the killer cones, has warned that traffic cones may well be the advanced guard of an alien invasion. Reports that the seemingly ever increasing number of cones on British and American roads have added to the fears that they may in fact be disguised extraterrestrials, breeding or being placed by visiting ETs in order to colonise our planet.

Their slogan reads 'ET CONE HOME'.

yechydda,