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Valleyboyabroad:

Scribbles from the Edge


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Conversations with a neo-conservative - Part 1

It really is amazing how deluded some people can be. Believe it or not, there are some in the US that believe the media is mis-representing the war in Iraq. Here's a little parody to a neo-conservative that wrote the following:Â

Like Kerry’s anti-war campaign, the propaganda is based on lies and half-truths, designed to inflame a strong emotional response. The purpose of the war is distorted, obscured, and misrepresented.


Mr Proud to be American here! Absolutely it is. The reason we went to war is that Saddam had nuclear weapons - Condo Rice said so. And Dick Cheney:

'Let's talk about the nuclear proposition for a minute. We know that based on intelligence, that [Saddam] has been very, very good at hiding these kinds of efforts. He's had years to get good at it and we know he has been absolutely devoted to trying to acquire nuclear weapons. And we believe he has, in fact, reconstituted nuclear weapons'

What's that I hear you say Mr.UN inspector? No he doesn't? - what are you some sort of pinko commie? Okay okay, he didn't have nuclear weapons you were right Mr.French loving commie. Anyway Rummy said that nobody claimed Saddam had nukes:

"I don't know anybody that I can think of who has contended that the Iraqis had nuclear weapons'Â 24/06/2003 At a press briefing, Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld

The reason we went to war was because Saddam had WMDs Rummy said so:

"[Saddam] has amassed large clandestine stocks of biological weapons... including anthrax and botulism toxin and possibly smallpox. His regime has amassed large clandestine stockpiles of chemical weapons, including VX and sarin and mustard gas... [he] has at this moment stockpiles of chemical and biological weapons (19/09/2002)'

the area... that coalition forces control... happens not to be the area where weapons of mass destruction were dispersed. We know where they are. They're in the area around Tikrit and Baghdad and east, west, south and north somewhat'' Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld tells Face the Nation:

"We have seen intelligence over many months that they have chemical and biological weapons, and that they have dispersed them and that they're weaponized and that, in one case at least, the command and control arrangements have been established." 04/04/2003 Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld tells Fox News Sunday:

What's that? They didn't? Okay okay you're right there weren't any WMDs But Rummy never said he knew they had WMDs:

"we never believed that we'd just tumble over weapons of mass destruction in that country... We're going to find what we find as a result of talking to people, I believe, not simply by going to some site and hoping to discover it."

See? He never said that he knew where they were, that earlier stuff he said was made up by an anti-war propagandist that just looked and sounded like Rummy. Cough.

Anyway, the reason we went to war now, is that Saddam intended at some point to start thinking about the possibility of making a chemical weapon at some undetermined point in the future. May'be. Yes, yes, even I can see that does sound a little lame come to think of it. Um, I know, the reason is that we wanted to get rid of Saddam! I can't think why for the moment since he clearly wasn't a clear and present danger to us but it's good enough eh? What? Yes certainly it's worth killing tens of thousands of innocent Iraqis to get rid of Saddam - he killed people you know, just like we're doing now. Commie.

Anyway, everythings going well, Rummy said so:

'We're in a low intensity war that needs to be won and we intend to win it' [Nov 2003]'...'Iraq has been a remarkable sucess' Nov 2004

What? You mean the 1400 US troops and the 17,000 badly wounded since the Bush declared the end to major combat operations? Um, er, well accidents happen, Rummy said so:

"It's untidy...Stuff happens...You go to war with the army you have, not the army you might want or might wish to have'.

But nobody could have foreseen that people wouldn't welcome us with open arms after we dropped 1000lb bombs on them. Anyway, Rummy said before the war that it would only cost us $2 billion a month...What? It's $4 billion a month now? How did that happen you scumbag socialist? Anyway, Rummy told us that we'd only need 50,000 troops there after the war....what? There are 150,000 there now two years later? How did that happen? Sounds like someone got their sums wrong doesn't it? Er, not that I'm conceding anything here.

'All this fuss, whether it be extended deployments or having sufficient armour - all of this is a continuation of the issue of poor planning...a lack of understanding of the consequences of invading Iraq'Â [Maj.Gen Nash]

'you and other officials in the administration responsible for this war were warned that they should expect major resistance to US occupation, yet you put tens of thousands of American troops in harms way without adequate planning...I'm interested in how this could have happened. Who's accountable?' (Asked Sen Kennedy of Wolfowitz, architect of the bush administrations Iraq policy, autumn, 2003)

Yes, well the General is a traitor. And probably a left wing liberal loving commie. Anyway they had elections last week so it was all worth it. What? What's changed since last week? Um, er, well, they've got purple fingers and um running water and electricity! What? They don't? It's worse now than it ever was under Saddam? You're kidding, we don't control most of Baghdad let alone Iraq? We're pumping less oil now that Saddam was? There's no work and the entire country is dependent on food parcels? After two whole years of being there? What the heck have we been doing for two years then apart from shooting innocent Iraqis, incarcerating innocent Iraqis in Abu Ghraib, humiliating innocent Iraqis, torturing innocent Iraqis...just....like....Saddam....did. Oh. Um, er...well. I mean it's not as if there are all that many insurgents to occupy us is there, Bush said so, he said the insurgency was '

'just a few folks'

Mind you, makes me wonder why so many of our troops are dying when there's just a few folks and we had to flatten the city of Fallujah and make 300,000 people homeless just to get a few folks...er, we did get these few folks didn't we? Oh. No, I suppose not otherwise dozens of Americans and Iraqis wouldn't be dying every day.

Oh dear, I should have thought this one through a little better shouldn't I?

yechydda,

A visitor made this comment,
You're probably tired of me writing all over you blog of late, valleyboy. But anyway: I haven't passed this thought on to a living soul: and it is appropriate to your theme above; so here it is.

Nickname that came into my head unbidden for Condoleeza Rice: Condom-Lisa! (Nice, rice, mice.)

It just suits her somehow!

Liz Kaspar [elizabeth.kaspar@btinternet.com]

comment added :: 17th February 2005, 08:40 GMT
A visitor made this comment,
Liz,

No, the more comments the merrier! Good nick, I like the mice ending it seems to suit her somehow!

yechydda,

VBA

comment added :: 18th February 2005, 07:31 GMT
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