News from the desk of ace reporter Roy Rubberplunger.

Today in the US, Halliburton announced a suprise interim additional $8.9 billion increase in profits.

'I'm as suprised as anyone.' said their chief accountant Sly Kleptoman.

Meanwhile, today in Iraq, there is still no explanation for the missing $8.9 billion of Iraqi oil revenues.

'Probably stolen by raghead terrorists.' shrugged a US spokesperson inbetween shooting Italian journalists.

'Anyway, who gives a shit?' he added.

yechydda,