Outside Pattaya's only sex show there were signs of intrigue, purporting to show 'frog in pussy, fish in pussy, woman shoot ping-pong ball from pussy, unspeakable tricks with bananas and so on. It occurred to me then that I'd never actually been to a sex show in my entire life. The closest I'd come was years ago in Amsterdam's famous red-light district. We'd occasionally go there to get drunk and stoned for the weekend. One time we decided to take in a sex show and had to kill an hour before the show started. About twenty minutes before it was due to begin I spotted a familiar face in the milling crowd - an old college mate Dave! I shouted him over, it had been years since I'd seen him back in Swansea. Dave was just as I remembered him, as strident in his views and as politically correct as ever. When the time to leave for the sex show, Dave looked at me aghast. Surely you're not going to watch that exploitative crap? He demanded. I was caught in existential angst, struggling with his conscience and my desire to see a live sex show. No, of course not, I'll just wait here I said weakly wondering what acts of unspeakableness with bananas I would miss. Back in Pattaya, I entered the dark cavern of fleshly sordidness wondering what, exactly, the frog in pussy would do to my sense of the erotic.

The sex show wasn't as crowded as the go-go bars, but there were quite a few punters with, uh, ringside seats for want of a better word. Steady Eddie and I sat a little way off the stage, and watched as a succession of beautiful young women stripped and jiggled their wobbly bits up and down. There was the token lesbian act which didn't really convince anyone and all in all once again, after about ten minutes it all became rather samey. Punters close to the action could slip the girls some money whereupon she would let him lick her between the legs. One man, drunk out his gourd, was surrounded by beautiful hostesses, at least half a dozen of them, and the girls on stage were queing up to let him lick them and claim their dollar. He's giving far too much, Eddie advised, they't let him lick them each for 50 cents. The bloke was getting through quite a lot of dollars, I dread to think how much he'd ended up spending, he'd probably be nabbed by one of the transexuals later who would descend on the befuggled in a trice and lead them to a suprising encounter.

Then Steady Eddie pointed to the opposite end of the bar, his eyes glazed, his mouth half open. I followed his stare and understood what he was fascinated by. A blonde Farang woman had stood up and had pushed her face between the buttocks of one of the strippers. The stripper was still gripping a silver pole, gyrating, her hips moving in small circular motions, pushing her rear firmly into the Farang womans face, glancing with a smiling leer over her shoulder at her admirer, The farang's blond head moved up and down between the strippers buttocks, her hands pulling the cheeks wide apart, her tongue licking and sometimes stopping to dig deep in a darting motion between the cheeks. Then she would move her head up and down again, licking along the length of the strippers rear, her mouth working busily and hungrily. It was the most erotic thing I had ever seen. A short while later, the stripper had changed and she left with the Farang woman, presumably so that she could enjoy the rest of the stripper at her leisure. Women also lusted after Thai women. I'd known that there were a few women only clubs, where singles and couples could play out the same game in more privacy than the men who acted so openly. But I'd never expected to see what I had just beheld, that erotic memory would stay with me forever. I'd quite forgotten all about the 'frog in pussy' and the other promised delights, none of which were forthcoming.

Eventually we got bored again and decided to call it a night and head back to the bar to play some pool. We walked to hail down a taxi and wandered down a soi that was largely full of gay bars.

'Want to see something really sad?' Eddie asked, 'Have a look inside there.' he insisted.

It was a gay go-go bar. Curious, I opened the door and looked inside. I wasn't sure what I was expecting, but what I did see left me puzzled and thoughtful. There, on the stage, were a dozen or so young men, dressed only in their underpants and flip-flops, standing stock still. There was loud music but none of the men were moving let alone dancing. The young men looked embarrassed and awkward. In the gloom there were silent men sitting, watching but it was the strangest cameo I'd ever seen. It was a meat market and nothing more. A waiter beckoned me inside, but I shook my head, turned and closed the door.

'That was very, very strange.' I said to Eddie.

Of course I'd been aware of a gay element to Pattaya, and that there were go-go bars and so on. But just watching them stand silently there, not even dancing to the music somehow brought home to me that although the bar girls and the go-go girls and the strippers were at least in part enthusiastic, it was nonetheless little different to the young men. Pattaya, despite its quirks and characters, my friends and the good restaurants, was one big meat market. The thought troubled me, it was obvious. I had known this of course, it was why I came here to explore in the first place, but seeing those young men like silent slabs of meat, waiting to be picked up and taken home and fucked hung over me in a haunt. I realised that I had to get out of Pattaya. I had become part of that which I had come to observe. It was more than time to move on.

Eddie and I returned to the bar, we played some pool and drank some more beers. A couple of girls offered to come home with me but I turned them down. Later I wandered home alone, strangely sober considering the amount that I had drunk that evening. The next day, I woke early, found a bus going to the Cambodian border, and boarded it. I left Pattaya behind.