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Valleyboyabroad: Scribbles from the Edge
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Stange stories from around the world - October
Here's Octobers round up of some strange stories from around the world. Enjoy! Or don't - suit yourselves you miserable bastards. This week passers by in Chaing-Rai, Northern Thailand, refused to help the victims of a collision between a lorry and and a car. When questioned by the police,the passers by said that they were too scared help. The lorry had been carrying chickens to market and the crash had left the animals roaming around the crash victims. Recently over 30 tigers have been put down because of bird flu. The tigers were being fed a diet of raw chicken caracasses. Sightseers taking a sccccenic boat tour on the Chicago river experienced a shower of the smellier kind last month, when a driver for the Dave Matthews Band decided to empty the touring groups septic tank while crossing a bridge. The bands tour manager was reported that he didn't give a shit, despite the evidence to the contrary. A group of porn stars that want to kick Bush out of office have gone to unusual lengths to get their message across. They have shaved off their pubic hair to make their point, fed up with Bush's, ahem, attempts to 'crack' down on the porn industry. I suppose that it makes the crack down that much more visible. Worst science jobs in the world: Anal wart researcher Worm Parasitologist Lab-animal Tester Tampon squeezer (liquid used to recover specimens for STD tests) Tick Dragger - (they drag a white corduroy sheet through a tick ridden thicket and then tweeze of the bugs for research purposes) Guwahti, India. Drunken wild elephants trampled to death 3 people and injured two in a tribal village in Assam. A herd of a dozen elephants entered the village and promptly proceeded to guzzle gallons of rice beer fermenting in drums. They then went on the rampage, destroying property and trampling the three unfortunate people. Policea are anxious to trace the elepahants and enrol them in Pachydrems Anonymous and their famous twelve trample program to sobriety. 'I don't like flings. I also don't believe in marrying more than one woman at a time' Kamaruddin Mohammed, 72, after marrying for the 53rd time since 1957. His latest marriage is to his first wife, who agreed to marry him when he promised that his wild days were finally behind him. A Polish taxpayer died from a heart attack after a demand from the taxman for $88,000. The Pole died during a hearing where the tax office demanded the $88,000 becuase he had failed to keep to a restructuring agreement on tax he had owed from the previous year. Later,the tax office realised that they had miscalculated the amount, and should have presented the tax payer with a bill for just $8.80 A British train conductor carefully examined and stamped the ticket of a customer on the London to York train, shortly before the train pulled into York. A few minutes later, train staff tried to wake him and realised that he wasn't breathing. Paramedics were called who confimred that the man had been dead for at least two or three hours. They commented that the ticket collector needn't have been so thorough, the poor man had expired long before his ticket. And finally, from Portage Wisconsin, A woman was arrested for digging up the grave of her dead boyfriend and stealing the beer and cigarettes that had been buried with him. Police commented that the woman, Karen Stolzman had acted in the gravest of manners. Police are now checking whether she's a murdering Muslim terrorist bastard because her surname sounds a bit foreign and confessed to knowing where Iraq was on a map. The interrogating police officer said that it had taken him two hours personally to find Iraq on a map of the world and was astonished to find that the suspect was correct. 'This shows without any shadow of a doubt that there is a connection between her and Al'Qaeda' he stated. She has since been charged with four counts of hijacking planes at the same time and crashing them into separate locations across the US. When asked how this was possible, the prosecuting attourney, a close cousin of the arresting officer, commented, 'Clever bastards these Muslims terrorists. We haven't had a chance to torture her yet, set dogs on her, force her to masturbate in front of prison guards and make a human pyramid out of her. But once we have, she'll squeal like the Muslim pig-dog that she is gynyarr gynyarr Got un Himmel.' yechydda, |
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