An English teacher recieved from his book club a demand for $0.00 which he ignored. He subsequently recieved increasingly aggressive demands for payment, and even though he wrote letters and phoned the company, nothing stopped the flow of threats of legal actions and sueing for non payment. They even threatened to seize his assets, presumably his book collection, if he did not pay up forthwith. Finally, exaspertated and utterly bored with the time he'd wasted with the company, he sent them a cheque for $0.00 and cancelled his subscription. He never heard from them again.

Pepsi, a six year old elephant, that killed a man who teased It with a piece of sugar cane has been acquited of any crime and will not be put to death Malaysian police said yesterday. The sweet tooth Jumbo, part of a five elephant show troupe from Thailand performing in a Buddhist temple, gored and trampled a fifty year old rubber tapper after he tormented it during a break in the show on Friday. Police have decided no criminal action was involved while the wildlife department said no action would be taken against the elephant .

Swimmers evacuated a public swimming pool in the outskirts of Darwin earlier this week when a life guard was alerted that a one mete long saltwater crocodile had been spotted. Four people were swimming laps at the olympic sized pool when they spotted the civic minded croc. The pool was closed until wildlife authorities were able to remove the young reptile which they described as placid but in poor health.

A Dutch magician was forced to change his act after health officials banned one of his props. It was a version of the old trick where a lighted cigarette was made to vanish and then made to reappear while still alight. The magician was a non-smoker but was advised that his act may encourage others to smoke and was therefore illegal.

British post office workers have sadly enjoyed a poor reputation down the years for intercepting letters and examining their contents to see if they contain anything of 'fiscal interest'. Grandmothers sending cherished grandchildren money, or credit cards, or cheques - all have been intercepted at one time or another by the maverick postie. Some postmen realise that very few people actually miss their mail, and simply don't bother to deliver it. One postman a few years back was sacked after a series of complaints led to an investigation. Thousands of undelivered and unopened letters were found in his garage, he had been simply too lazy to deliver any of them.

But people rarely complain, they just nod at each other with acceptance and determine,

'Ah, it must have got lost in the post' and live stoically on.

Recently however an elderly couple were dismayed to find that one of their letters had been opened. Although the letter, a note of thanks from a church congregation for donations, had been resealed, inside was an additional note from the Post Office. It read:

'Dear customer, we had to open this letter to check for money or credit cards, there were none, so you can have the fucker back!!! Next, time make sure there is some money! - Love, the Royal Mail'

The Thai elephant orchestra have just cut their second album. Rick Lair of the Hang Chat district in Lamoung has been directing the TEO at the Thai elephant conservation centre. The five piece ensemble play jumbo size xylophones, gongs and drums but provide their own instruments fot the trumpet and horn sections. Their first albumn sold over 700 CDs throughout the North Americas and Rick is optimistic that the new albumn would be a conceptual breaktrough.

'On the first albumn, we were all a bit raw, grungy almost. Now we've grown together as an orchestra, and we're experimenting with a more sophisticated sound.'

I tried to interview Cho Miang, the lead trumpeter, but she was busy packing her trunk for the world tour.

 yechydda,

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